Breaking the Seed

Breaking the Seed

Remember, seeds need to break and grow and push through a bunch of dirt before they can reach the sun and fully bloom.

-Amie Farrell

2017 has been a particularly testy year. Let me give you some backstory.

My side hustle is doing publicity for small and mid-size tech and business to business companies, their products, and their people. It’s a good gig. I get to control my own hours. I enjoy what I do. And I’m good at it. Instead of pursuing more clients last year though, I rolled the dice on my commercial career. The thought was, “All I need to do is book a commercial or two and I’ll be financially free.” Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way sometimes. While I appreciate my optimism and naivete in retrospect, it came back to burn me. I ended up putting my taxes on my credit card. Not fun. On the plus side, I should get a nice bump in miles.

Normally, I don’t get wrapped up in the hoopla of Hollywood. I’m a pretty level headed, risk adverse person. But I did it anyway. And I don’t regret it. Well, that’s not entirely true. Being in debt creates stress and now I have to climb out my financial hole. It also puts a bit of a damper on my social calendar. The truth is though, you can’t play it safe and expect to make it here.

As I was chatting over my predicament with one of my acting teachers, Amie Farrell, she gave me a great piece of advice wrapped up in a nice analogy. “Remember, seeds need to break and grow and push through a bunch of dirt before they can reach the sun and fully bloom,” she said. Wow.

I’ve had the opportunity to shadow Amie in the AdlerImprov Acting Studio’s teen class. And she’s asked her teen students on more than one occasion – why are you an actor? Her goal is to remind her students of their artistry and to give them a sense of purpose, which will guide them in their careers, especially during those testy times when the industry is telling you no over and over again and you’re wondering if you should have taken the blue pill instead.

Speaking of purpose, during a recent scene study class, Amie invited each of us to take a line from The Invitation, a poem from Oriah Mountain Dreamer, and read it out loud, putting our own personal spin on them. There’s so many lines that resonate with me and reminded me why I sold my stuff, packed up my Corolla, and headed West 3.5 years ago. And the reminder came at a time when I needed it most.

Here’s the full poem. What lines resonate with you? What’s your purpose?

The Invitation – Oriah Mountain Dreamer

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon…
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.

2016 in Review

2016 in Review

I grew a lot as an actor this year – more physical, playful, artistic, vocal and comfortable in chaos. I also made a big distinction toward the end of 2016 that really changed my perspective, and subsequently, my outlook for 2017: there’s a huge difference between struggling and being in the struggle. The latter includes acceptance, it’s active, and it’s empowering. Before I kick 2017’s ass, here’s a look back:

Professionally

Pilot Season Prep

I took AdlerImprov Acting Studio‘s Pilot Season Prep class, taught by Rob Adler and Amie Ferrell, to kick off my 2016. By watching how other actors approached each week’s script, I realized there really is no right or wrong way. Instead, there’s your interpretation of the character and how you communicate the circumstances. There are certainly better, more active choices one can make that better serve the story, but relieving the pressure to “get it right” really changed my approach and, ultimately, freed me up to make more artistic choices.

Two plays

A good friend from Chicago, Jason “The Dragon” Markoff, invited me to perform a Christopher Durang monologue in the middle of two one act plays he and another Harvard grad, Rushi Kota, were putting up to showcase their talents. Having enjoyed my experience working with Jason on episode 7 of Platoon of Power Squadron, I jumped at the chance to work with him again. I also played a cowboy in the second one act. Both characters required dramatically different physicality and vocal dynamics. I had so much fun bringing those characters to life. It reminded me why I started acting in the first place.

The second play was Bootleg Theater’s original work, The Stand-In, written by Pete Monro and Alicia Adams and directed by Ric Murphy. This was a tremendous opportunity and I’m extremely grateful I got to work with and watch some fantastic actors and see their process. I played three different characters, each with a different physicality. The beauty of Ric’s direction is that everything is measured by what it communicates to the audience. The choices aren’t necessarily good or bad, but rather communicate or don’t. Two examples in particular. As one character, I came out futzing with a belt. The action pulled my head upstage so the audience couldn’t see my face. A brief second, but it didn’t work. I scrapped it. The second was a regimented walk and turn as a soldier. A fairly standard choice. On closing night, Ric suggested I play with communicating the environment’s temperature (it was cold) rather than the regimented walk. The result – a blow of both hands to warm them up and a deep breath. A complete change of character and a heightened chilling affect on the scene.

Two shorts

Mike Stutz is a writer, director, actor and producer. He wrote and produced a short called Fat Lamb (directed by Rob Adler), which asked the question, “What if instead of ascending to heaven in a blaze of glory Jesus just sorta…stuck around?” In it, I played a suicide hotline operator. This was a hoot and the lines in the final cut were completely improvised.

Mistress Jane is a short written and directed by Roberto Roquer. It’s a story about a mistress who lets down her guard and falls in love with her sub. I play the sub. I’ll share the final cut with you when it’s available.

Content Creation

The same Mike Stutz mentioned above taught a six week writing class at AdlerImprov Acting Studio. The beauty of this writing class was that it was physical. All the writing takes place in the space, not in the head. You’re on your feet most of the time, letting distance, gesture, movement, and ultimately, your body, inform the writing.

The Pool

iO West puts together a team of graduates to perform the Harold in a show called The Pool. Six weeks of rehearsal with a coach and four performances. Doug Sarine was our coach and often pushed us to keep it simple and emotionally vulnerable. And the group was extremely supportive and willing to take risks. What a great experience!

Commercial Technique Intensive

Amie Farrell is a commercial booking machine and she shared her tips and tricks with us over a weekend intensive at the AdlerImprov Acting Studio. The big takeaway from Amie’s class was camera awareness and environment, and using both to keep my face in the screen early and often.

Deb Barylski

Deb Barylski is an Emmy award winning casting director with monster comedy credits on her resume: Arrested Development, The Middle, Home Improvement, Just Shoot Me! This workshop offered insight on type and worked several scenes. Deb champions actors and pushes them to offer the best versions of themselves in auditions. She is specific with her feedback and generous with her time. Highly recommend taking her workshop if you have the opportunity. Unfortunately, she’s a St. Louis Cardinals fan, but I digress.

Commercial Agent

My previous commercial agent and I parted ways and I signed with DPM Talent just before the holidays. Daniel has been a commercial agent for almost two decades and tells it the way he sees it. He’s a no bullshit guy. Unfortunately, he’s a White Sox fan, but I digress. I’m looking forward to this partnership.

AFI

At the tail end of the year, I had the opportunity to work with 30 or so up and coming directors in the American Film Institute‘s directing program. The teacher, Rob Spera, an accomplished director, studied with Sanford Meisner and teaches the Meisner Technique to his students to help them craft deeper emotional stories and better understand the process actor’s go through to deliver their performances. He invites a handful of actors to demonstrate the technique and share their experiences with the students. I’ve participated in this program twice and loved every second of it. Special thanks to my friend and talented actor, Katie Adler, for sharing this opportunity with me.

Ongoing study

I continued studying with with Rob Adler, Ric Murphy and Amie Ferrell at the AdlerImprov Acting Studio throughout 2016, taking the Sunday Advanced AdlerImprov and On Camera Scene Study classes. It is my artistic home and I continue to cherish the time I spend there and the work I create there. The space has enriched my work and the artists who work there continue to challenge, inspire and motivate me to achieve and do more.

Personally

Got healthy

At the end of 2015, I wasn’t in great physical shape and it affected me emotionally. I stopped working out for the last quarter of the year and, as a result, I was depressed. I felt sluggish. After stepping on the scale at my mom’s house for the holiday break, I knew I needed to make a change. Since then, I’ve worked out at least four times per week. I weigh about the same as I did last year, but it’s muscle. And as a result, I feel more vibrant.

Therapy

I started seeing a therapist to figure out my blocks and the behavioral patterns holding me back. I’m an analytical person and I tend to focus on hypothetical outcomes, which ends up draining a lot of mental energy and creating a lot of unnecessary worry. I also tend to avoid. After two months, I’m already seeing the benefits. I started making more active choices. I started using my words. I talk to myself in a more positive, healthy way. And I’m less stressed. I look forward to reaping the fruits in 2017.

Breaks

I took more breaks in 2016. I went for walks. I hiked. I napped. Taking a break freed me up to brainstorm and ponder. Naps recharged me. It’s easy to get caught up in the grind of LA and the idea that constant motion is necessary. That’s draining. And to quote a popular line in The Princess Bride, “Get some rest. If you haven’t got your health, you haven’t got anything.” In 2017, I want to chew my food literally and metaphorically by enjoying the world around me.

That was my 2016. I have aggressive plans for 2017. But I’ll share those in a different post. Wishing you continued success on your path and health and happiness in your life. Embrace the struggle.

“The Stand-In” at Bootleg Theater

“The Stand-In” at Bootleg Theater

THE STAND-IN at Bootleg Theater looks behind the scenes of “Double Indemnity,” an iconic title of the Film Noir canon. Two WW2 exiles – Billy Wilder, the picture’s director, and Kasia, an enigmatic young woman – struggle for identity as foreigners while the film is written, shot, and premiered in a strange new land: Los Angeles 1944. Appearing like some sort of siren, Kasia washes onto a beach, only to be rescued by the cinematographer Max. The two quickly fall into an affair as he hires Kasia to work on set. While their passion is genuine, Kasia’s ambitions in Hollywood challenge the strength of their relationship. Meanwhile, Billy Wilder acts as ring-leader, guiding everyone on set in an effort to create one of the greatest films ever made.

Cast: Alicia Adams, McCready Baker, Fayelyn Bilodeau, Katie DeVoe-Peterson, Paul Dillon, Michael Dunn, Charlie Forray, Amy Gonzales, Rob Lynch, Jeremy Mitchell, Chris Schultz, and Stephen Simon

Scenic Design: David Offner
Lighting Design: Dan Weingarten
Costume Design: Kerry Hennessy
Projection Design: Hana Sooyeun Kim
Sound Design: Aaron Lyons
Stage Manager: Katherine Hoevers
Producer: Jessica Hanna
Assoc. Producers: Nina Bowers, Katie DeVoe-Peterson & Lisa Harris
Artwork: David James
Director: Ric Murphy

Runs Thursday, Fridays & Saturdays at 7p through November 5.
Sunday Matinees, October 23 & 30 at 2p

Venue Information:
Bootleg Theater
2220 Beverly Blvd
Los Angeles, CA, 90057
http://www.bootlegtheater.org/

 

 

 

iO West and The Pool

iO West and The Pool

A surfer. A salsa dancer. A cancer survivor support group organizer. A yogi. A MA theatre studies grad. A personality test aficionado. A dog walker. And a publicist. That’s who played in the second round of iO West’s “The Pool”, a show that features graduates of the iO West and iO Chicago improv training program.

Like “The A Team,” we were a special forces unit hand selected to perform a “Harold” on iO West’s mainstage. We had a four week run at 7 PM on Tuesday nights. We opened for various Harold teams.

If you’ve ever performed a Harold, you know how challenging it can be when eight strangers get together to try and create group mind, especially in just six weeks. Veteran improviser and our coach, Douglas Sarine, pushed us early and often to come from a place of truth. Aside from grounding our performances and creating a shared, relatable experience with the audience, it helped to simplify our approach to performances, i.e. less need to manufacture.

This was an extremely positive experience. The only bummer was that I felt like we were just starting to hit our stride in our fourth and final performance.

 

 

 

Auditions: Be so good they can’t ignore you

Auditions: Be so good they can’t ignore you

Be so good they can’t ignore you.

Steve Martin

I recently had an opportunity to operate a camera for a television show audition. It was an eye opening experience to work on the other side of the lens. Highly recommend if you get the opportunity. Things I learned:

Show up on time. If you’re late for an audition, the casting director is already skeptical you’ll show up to set on time. Traffic is not an excuse. And don’t show up late, then ask for two minutes to review your lines and then shuffle papers while trying to find the correct scene in the room.

Listen and respond. Casting director Chris Game says the best audition scenes are the ones where you’re listening. Rob Adler often says reacting in the scene gives the editor so much to play with in post. I saw a lot of actors waiting to deliver their next line instead of being in the scene.

Move if it’s motivated. Standing up and sitting down can derail the scene, especially if the movement is for the sake of moving vs. moving with intention. I also saw shifting and twisting, which can show up as nerves instead of motivated action.

Don’t call cut on yourself. In Rob Adler‘s on camera scene study class, he often says to keep acting through “cut.” Some of the best moments happen at the end of scenes. I didn’t cut right at the end of the last line of the scene. I gave it a second to breathe. I could see when actors were still in the scene and those that were already out.

Elevate the writing. Some scripts suck. You have an opportunity to shine if you can elevate the writing.

Consistency of character. The audition involved three short scenes. The first two were related. The third scene was a time jump. In some of the auditions, I saw the same character in the first two scenes and a completely different character in the third scene. Show a fully formed character using different motivations in each scene.

Do the work. Be so good they can’t ignore you. Some actors weren’t off book and it prevented them from being present in the scene. Two thoughts. First, many of us just want an opportunity to audition, and when we get it, we have the opportunity to blow the room away. So do it. Blow the room away. Know your lines. Be present. Listen and respond. Live moment to moment. Second, casting directors really do want you to succeed. Provide a solution to their problem. Most casting directors want to avoid adding another casting day because they haven’t found the right person. It’s a time suck and stressor for them.

Be so good they can’t ignore you.